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Joe Girardi isn’t remotely good looking. That’s not a slight against him because he’s with the Yankees, he just doesn’t move me at all.

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founding

LMAO

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Craig Counsell is way too low at #7. Top 3 easily.

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Not to quibble, but Rojas should be #2. Matheny, while handsome, has hair issues.

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author

But the guy on top of the list (and the guy creating the list) are bald!

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Oh that's my point! Matheny (unlike me) is gifted with hair. But he wears it wrong - half the time it's a mullet. Hair is wasted on the non-bald.

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I wish I had eaten breakfast before looking at this list. Now, I'm not hungry anymore.

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Alex Cora should be higher on the list. He has a beautiful smile and is a very warm person.

I’ve been a fan of Gabe Kapler dating back to his Detroit days. He’s handsome and Jewish (the same as Brad Ausmus,) Thanks to my wonderful SoSH friends, I have countless memorabilia relating to Gabe, particularly during his presence on the ‘04 Red Sox. Hell, we named our dog “Gabby” in his honor. Hubby was fine with that decision. 😂

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I feel like there was a missed opportunity with Cora and Hinch. They get to keep their normal spots on the top 5 this year. But next year, they're an automatic bottom third, as punishment. Except oh, never mind, they aren't going to be penalised at all.

Craig should deliver a stern lecture about the integrity of the handsomeness process before putting both of them in the top 5 anyway.

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If Mattingly finally shaves those sideburns, I am positive he is top 5 material.

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I was just recently made aware of this bit - and find it hilarious.

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I'm currently a monthly subscriber. If I go annually, is it best to cancel the monthly subscriber first?

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author

Um. I'm not sure. I think there's an option to upgrade from the monthly to an annual but as the one person who doesn't pay for this thing, I am not quite sure how that works.

If you can't figure that out, email me separately (just reply to a newsletter and it comes to me) and I can prorate refund your monthly for you to sign up for an annual.

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I'm curious about this too; I decided to just wait until my month was up and re-up on the annual, but I am curious as to how it would have worked.

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Dec 7, 2020Liked by Craig Calcaterra

Thank you for still doing this. I know it's silly and I know it's all a bit tongue-in-cheek, but every now again it's nice to see the men of the world objectified. And for it to be done by a straight man makes it all the better. We may not have Winter Meetings, but we have this.

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I know. .The silliness makes it art. Let's judge successful, middle aged millionaires who wear pyjamas to work, on how they look. Besides, we're in an interesting period, handsomenesswise. A few of the managers are the old school, grizzled, out of shape classic manager, but I'm pretty sure most of the guys on this list have personal trainers and buy expensive sunscreen.

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[Reposted from Twitter] Tony La Russa would rank higher if he wasn't so bossy and smiled more.

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I'd say "Aren't managers hired to be bossy?", but I think those days have passed and now they're hired for follow orders.

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Possibly. But he hasn’t managed anything yet except his court appearances. Craig, I’d rather you gave Rick Renteria one last appearance, for old times sake.

But as an alternative, 30th works for me!

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My biggest takeaway...I am woefully behind on who manages each team. This list at least helped me catch up.

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Ditto! There was a time when I could have rattled them all off, but not any more. There's no way I could have told you who the Mets manager is right now -- I stopped paying attention after the Beltran debacle, and assumed the new owner was just going to clean house.

Also, I have no idea who this "Chris Woodward" person is, and I'm pretty sure Craig made the whole thing up.

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I genuinely don't understand how Gabe Kapler doesn't top the list every year. He looks better than the players he manages. He's a literal model. I know you can't see the abs when he's in uniform, but he's easily the best-looking person in baseball and as far as I know neither his manageriability, politics, or personal life detract from that.

Besides, not havig the macho bullshit the other managers do would bump hm up a few spots for that alone. This also bumps Francona up a few spots so it's not JUST about looks.

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That, and the fact that even when he's shirtless, he clips those colored pens to his chest hair. [...and now I've grossed myself out.]

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I'm sorry, what?

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Isn't Kapler the one who always has colored pens clipped to the front of his jersey, like a grad student?

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What material? His blog? Whats objectionable about his blog? It's a bit faddish but not too much, standard diet/exercise/liefstyle advice wrapped up in a bit of a new agey package, but I think it's charming. It's not preachy or bro-sciency and I never understood why old school media focused on the coconut oil. I can assure you that every single basebll manager has masturbated.

His managerial style? It's the same as Girardi's. The media LOVES Girardi, another analytics-focused fitness obsessive with a mixed record. But Girardi was associated with the Jeter era Yankees, so according to the media he's the epitome of all-American manhood, stalwart and true, with great charater and a baseball mind who you'd love to have a beer with.

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Huh. I didn't think about that but to me it IS different when it's your body. Maybe because I feel like he has a sense of humor about it? And he acknowledges that you have to do things like eat burgers with lettuce or lick an ice cream cone and spit it out? And it's not like he expects his players to do it.

I have a very normal body, so it's not that.

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"Last year a commenter at NBC told me that, in high school, Baldelli was better at volleyball than he was at baseball. The commenter also said that Baldelli spiked a volleyball into his face in a match in 1999. That comment simply made me imagine Baldelli taking over the Val Kilmer role in the big “Top Gun” volleyball scene and, you know what, I think he could pull it off"

Regardless of the topic, these kind of stories always give me a "One time, Regina George punched me in the face, and it was awesome" vibe.

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Also I know you're probably sick of writing this, but it's my favourite bit. Especially this year where I want something nice and fun and meaningless that just makes people happy.

Looking at the photos though, I feel like you wouldn't start doing this joke in 2020. When you started, guys like Ausmus were rare and most managers looked like Zimmer or Scioscia. Overweight, red faced, doing that old bald guy thing where you let the rest of your hair get long. Now, most of the managers try. They care about their appearance. They work out and eat properly and know about styling and grooming. They get cosmetic dental work. They dye their hair (Maddon). I sort of feel like half the guys on this list would actually hate being on the bottom.

Props to Baldelli for wearing a mask AND a BLM shirt. Everyone knows that being a good guy moves you up.

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Also I know you're probably sick of writing this, but it's my favourite bit. Especially this year where I want something nice and fun and meaningless that just makes people happy.

Looking at the photos though, I feel like you wouldn't start doing this joke in 2020. When you started, guys like Ausmus were rare and most managers looked like Zimmer or Scioscia. Overweight, red faced, doing that old bald guy thing where you let the rest of your hair get long. Now, most of the managers try. They care about their appearance. They work out and eat properly and know about styling and grooming. They get cosmetic dental work. They dye their hair (Maddon). I sort of feel like half the guys on this list would actually hate being on the bottom.

Props to Baldelli for wearing a mask AND a BLM shirt. Everyone knows that being a good guy moves you up.

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Imagine not ranking Dusty #1. Dude is the coolest guy in baseball. I was going to unsubscribe but it's the holidays after all. lol

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