Cup of Coffee: July 20, 2023

The Orioles are in first, the Yankees are imploding, football fields can be black, we may be through with the past but the past is not through with us, and I wrote like 600 words about Rush

Good morning! And welcome to Free Thursday!

A gabillion runs were scored on Tuesday night but no team scored more than eight runs yesterday. Also, I was inspired to turn the Padres-Blue Jays recap into an extended conversation about the band Rush. The universe is chaos. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Eat at Arby’s.

---

And That Happened

Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Angels 7, Yankees 3: Taylor Ward and Luis Rengifo each hit two-run homers off of Carlos Rodón and Halos starter Chase Silseth allowed one run while pitching into the sixth and striking out ten. Rodón took the loss, allowing six runs on four hits and five walks over 4.1 innings. As he left the field he was booed by the not insignificant contingent of Yankees fans in Anaheim. He showed them his appreciation by blowing them a kiss on his way to the dugout. It’s not exactly Jack McDowell’s middle finger back in 1995, but it was in that general vein.

Not that Rodón was the only Yankees pitcher all up in his feelings yesterday:

If it helps, fans aren’t too happy with the Yankees either, Tommy.

That’s an Angels sweep. And it’s four losses in a row and six losses in seven for the Bronx Whiffers. I didn’t look but I assume Aaron Boone gave a presser after this saying that the Yankees are a good team that just needs to play better. I further assume Brian Cashman’s trade deadline white board says “hope Aaron Judge gets healthy” on it and nothing else. Somewhere in Tampa, Florida Hal Steinbrenner went to sleep last night confident that everything is just fine and that no changes need to be made.

Pirates 7, Guardians 5: Cleveland took a 4-0 lead by the fifth but couldn’t hold it thanks to a five-run seventh from the Buccos. Ji Man Choi and Jared Triolo each hit two-run singles. Earlier Nick Gonzales hit an RBI single and Jake Suwinski had an RBI double. The Pirates were obliterated in the first two games of this series but win one here. That thing they say about momentum being your next day’s starting pitcher is true.

[Editor: actually, the Pirates starting pitcher didn’t do so hot here]

Respect your elders. Rich Hill is 30 or 40 years old and he does not need this.

Orioles 8, Dodgers 5: The beginning of this game was delayed despite the fact that, at the time, it was sunny in Baltimore. Why the delay then? Because the infield wasn't covered after Tuesday’s game for some reason and it rained overnight. Suspects in this incident include Crash Davis (vandalism) and Carmen Sandiego (theft). After that things got better for the O’s, as Ramón Urías drove in three and Gunnar Henderson homered and scored three times. The other Urías in this game — Dodgers starter Julio — got shelled for eight runs in five innings. With this win and the Rays loss to Texas, Baltimore takes over first place in the AL East by percentage points.

Rangers 5, Rays 1: Texas wins its sixth in a row thanks in large part to Jonah Heim’s three-run homer. Leody Taveras homered himself and singled in a run. The Rays may have fallen out of first place but at least they get a four-game series at home vs. the Orioles starting today so they can take first right back if they figure their shit out. Or fall further behind I suppose. I don’t have a dog in that hunt. They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say let ‘em crash.

Cardinals 6, Marlins 4: More heroics from the Nolans as Gorman hit a three-run homer and had four RBI and Arenado went deep again to complete the sweep. Marlins starter Sandy Alcantara gave up four runs and eight hits in six innings, dropping to 0-3 in his last four starts and seeing his ERA climb back above 4.70. Rough year for the reigning Cy Young winner. In other news, Marlins third base coach Jody Reed suffered a fractured right leg when he got hit by Jesús Sánchez foul ball during the third inning. Marlins quality control coach Griffin Benedict replaced Reed for the rest of the game. And, one presumes, will do so for a bit unless everyone’s cool with Reed hobbling out there on crutches.

Astros 4, Rockies 1: Brandon Bielak allowed one run one one hit while pitching into the sixth and four relievers finished the two-hitter for Houston. Chas McCormick hit a two-run homer, after which he stole the hero’s girlfriend and thought he was SO BIG, at least until he was challenged to a big ski race where he met his comeuppance. He probably should’ve just punched the hero when he had the chance but his buddy Bret held him back and said “Hey man, save it for the slopes.” Common mistake.

Athletics 6, Red Sox 5: JJ Bleday, Cody Thomas and Jace Peterson each hit two-run home runs to help Oakland take this series. How you come into a series against the A’s as one of the hotter teams in baseball and then drop two of three is a mystery to me but, again, baseball.

Brewers 5, Phillies 3: William Contreras had three hits and two RBI including a tie-breaking double in the seventh to send Milwaukee to victory for the fifth time in six games. Blake Perkins also drove in two. Philly had a chance here but Brewers relievers Hoby Milner, Elvis Peguero, Joey Payamps and Devin Williams — all of whom except for Williams sound like made up names — each pitched an inning of scoreless relief, combining for seven strikeouts and no walks.

Mets 5, White Sox 1: Justin Verlander was sharp, going eight and allowing just one run while striking out seven. Brett Batty homered and drove in a couple. The Mets have won three in a row and go for the series sweep this afternoon.

Reds 3, Giants 2: Will Benson hit a three-run homer and Graham Ashcraft pitched into the seventh inning, allowing two. Also: if you told me that there was a Britpop band with a singer named Graham Ashcraft, I’d probably believe you because it just sounds right. In other news, ESPN keeps doing that thing I mentioned yesterday in which they feature highlights from the losing team atop their game stories:

It happens too much to be an accident at this point. Someone has mounted some sort of campaign or, at the very least, has an agenda. Not saying I object to it — viva chaos, after all — but don’t think it isn’t being noticed.

Diamondbacks 5, Atlanta 3: Ryne Nelson allowed allowed two runs on only three hits with five strikeouts over seven innings and Lourdes Gurriel Jr. gave Arizona the lead with a two-run double in the third inning. This was Atlanta’s fourth consecutive loss and they've dropped five of their past six. They've also lost consecutive series after winning the previous 11 series. Don’t like what’s going on in baseball at any given time? Wait.

Tigers 3, Royals 2: Eduardo Rodríguez, clearly auditioning for contenders in advance of the trade deadline, allowed two runs and four hits over seven innings while striking out seven. Javier Báez homered, Kerry Carpenter singled in a run in the sixth to tie things up at two, and Miguel Cabrera singled in Carpenter later that inning to put the Tigers ahead for good.

Twins 6, Mariners 3: Edouard Julien and Max Kepler homered early and Alex Kirilloff homered late while Kenta Maeda was solid into the seventh. Julien has been on fire lately. Not literally, though. That’d be bad.

Cubs 8, Nationals 3: If I had a dime for every game the Nats kept close until the late innings and then swayed, buckled, and collapsed like the Tacoma Narrows Bridge I’d have a shitload of dimes. Here it was Nico Hoerner hitting a grand slam in the Cubs five-run eighth of what had been a 3-3 game. Mike Tauchman also homered and drove in three for the Cubbies. A Washington fan many of us know tweeted last night that he was beginning to suspect that the Nats aren’t very good. He may be on to something.

Padres 2, Blue Jays 0: Yu Darvish tossed six shutout innings and three relievers finished the six-hitter. A two-run single from Manny Machado in the fifth was all the scoring.

In other Canadian news, I found myself listening to Rush’s “Moving Pictures” last night for reasons that are not entirely clear.

As I said on Twitter as I was doing this — and as longtime readers know well — I made a mini-brand out of hating Rush for several years back in the day. That, as I have noted more recently, was born less of an aggressive antipathy for the band, all of whom seem/seemed like nice fellows, than it was born of a deep and eventually annoying familiarity with them from my childhood, due mostly to heavy immersion via my brother who was — and to some extent still is — a pretty massive Rush fan.¹ I didn’t truly hate Rush, but I was very tired of them by virtue of him playing their tapes, which I could hear through our shared wall and in his 1979 Buick LeSabre all the damn time.

Rush fans used to get mad at me when I slagged on them, telling me I just needed to listen to them more so that I could truly appreciate them. That was another thing that fueled my half-serious anti-Rush bit, by the way. Rush fans who, unlike almost any fans of any other band, seem to lean pretty heavily into the idea that there is music that is correct to like and music that is incorrect to like and that if you don’t like Rush you are incorrect and must be better-educated. I found and still find this stance offensive when it comes to matters of art so some chucklehead telling me that my rolling my eyes at how ponderous “A Farewell to Kings” can get is merely a function of my not understanding the intricacies of Neil Peart’s time signatures doesn’t help. The fact is that, because of that decade-long Rush immersion, I could and still can anticipate every note and every cymbal crash and I can recite almost every lyric from every album from their self-titled debut up through “Presto.” In this I’m like that Christian kid who later turned out to be an atheist who can still quote you chapter and verse, maybe even better than you can, even if he’s no longer a believer.

I’m not sure what, if anything has changed over the past several years, but I have backed off my anti-Rush thing almost entirely. To be sure, I do not love nor will I ever love Rush — there’s just a lot of silliness, particularly in their allegedly classic 1970s output — but I think somewhere along the line I’ve made my peace with them and I can listen to and appreciate some of their stuff now in ways I haven’t been able to since I was a kid. I probably have more appreciation for the synth business of the keyboard era than their more ponderous and proggy stuff, but I could make a playlist that spans their career that I wouldn’t mind listening to now. That was certainly not the case ten years ago.

All of which is to say that I enjoyed listening to “Moving Pictures” last night. It’s an album I hadn’t listened to in full since I was riding in my brother’s 1979 LeSabre back in high school. It’s obviously a classic, even if I can’t imagine why “The Camera Eye” needs to be ten minutes long, but I suppose that’s less an issue with Rush than prog in general and I suppose that’s still part of my anti-Rush hangover.

Middle age, man. It takes all the piss and vinegar out of ya.

---

The Daily Briefing

Phillies pitching prospect needs Tommy John surgery

Top Phillies pitching prospect Andrew Painter will undergo Tommy John surgery, the team said yesterday. He’ll have a second opinion but it’s extraordinarily unlikely the recommendation will change as he’s been on a rest-and-rehab regimen for months now and has shown no improvement.

Painter, 20, had a shot at making the big league rotation this season after a fantastic 2022 when he went 6-2 with a 1.56 ERA while striking out 155 batters and walking only 25 in 103.2 innings across three minor league levels. He hurt himself in early March, however, and now he’ll likely see no actual game action until 2025. Tough break.

Mariners players, fans mad that the team store is selling Blue Jays gear

Whenever the Blue Jays play in Seattle there is a big, big contingent of Canadian fans in attendance. From what I can tell Mariners fans have long since learned to live with this. Just part of the deal when you’re paying a Canadian team so close to the Canadian border. Their money is just as green — or, well, blue, purple, orange, and red — as anyone else’s.

But, many believe, the Mariners are taking things a step too far in that they’ve taken an entire section in the Mariners team store and converted it to sell Blue Jays apparel. And not just one sad little shelf in the corner like you sometimes see. A whole large rack:

A few Mariners players saw this tweet and were pretty obviously unhappy with it. Which, I suspect, is what led to Blue Jays items on the rack disappearing by late Tuesday. Many believe that the stuff will be back by the time the Jays roll into town tomorrow, though. Guess we’ll see.

I can’t imagine caring about this all that much but given that I wrote a whole damn book about how team loyalty is bullshit, I’m probably not the best person to ask.

---

Other Stuff

How to lose a Senate campaign

The other day I mentioned Frank LaRose, Ohio’s Secretary of State, who just announced his candidacy for the U.S. Senate. I’m not a fan of LaRose’s for lots of obvious reasons relating to substantive political matters, but I also dislike him because, issues aside, he’s a total weasel with zero principles. He’s a pathetic empty suit with about as much moral and ethical clarity as a greased weathervane. All of that being said, guys like La Rose are key to understanding the current state of Republican politics.

LaRose is not cut out to be a MAGA Republican. He’s cut out to be a machine Republican, the sort of which used to be cranked out by the dozens, whose sole purpose in life is to fulfill his own personal ambition via doing absolutely everything the rich and the powerful want him to do. That’s not necessarily noble, but it’s something that is easy to understand. It’s part of what made the whole damn Republican party run for decades until Donald Trump came along and upended everything with the sort of rabid populism that is generally anathema to establishment Republican types.

LaRose is not a gifted politician and thus he has had a particularly hard time adjusting to the Trump era. In 2016 he misread the room pretty terribly and cast his lot with John Kasich and the so-called NeverTrumpers. Since then he’s been scrambling to stay on the good side of the red hat-wearing hordes, shamelessly pandering to Trump and his minions, doing just enough of a good job of it to not be cast out into the wilderness, but nowhere near as good a job that is required in order to be given a Trump endorsement for Senate. Like, at the moment he’s dutifully putting his thumb on the scale as the state’s top election official in an effort to ram through an antidemocratic ballot initiative, but then he shoots himself in the dick like this, as the indispensable D.J. Byrnes of the Ohio political newsletter The Rooster detailed yesterday:

LaRose has said he would welcome the endorsement of former President Donald Trump. That’s because he was speaking to a reporter on the record. Privately, however, he told supporters that Trump’s endorsement “doesn’t mean as much as it once did.”

In another example of Republicans hating LaRose as much as you and I, those comments were secretly recorded, leaked to a national political outlet, and likely forwarded to Trump’s advisors at Mar-a-Largo almost instantaneously.

Having to grovel at the feet of President Business Deals publicly must be a tough pill to swallow for LaRose, who was adamant in his belief in March 2016 that he would under no circumstances vote for Donald Trump.

LaRose will now spend months groveling to Trump who will absolutely, 100% endorse someone else, leaving LaRose looking like a total fool. It’ll give me a lot of laughs when that inevitably happens.

There are limits to how much I can cackle about all of this, however, because the dynamics in Ohio are such these days that there is a very real, if not probable chance that whoever gets the GOP nomination will beat Sherrod Brown and flip Ohio’s Senate seat to the Republicans. In light of that, cheering on whatever nutcase Trump endorses simply because he’ll humiliate a guy like LaRose, who I truly loathe, is not exactly something that creates good political or cosmic juju.

But I suppose if this state is going to plummet straight to Hell, we may as well be entertained in the process, so yay whoever beats LaRose.

Just in time for summer football practice!

There is nothing in the laws of nature which mandates that artificial surfaces which replace natural grass have to be green. That goes for football fields, as the folks at Boise State and a handful of other schools have demonstrated. It also goes for non-sporting surfaces, as my grandfather demonstrated in the 1950s when — and I am 100% not making this up — he paved over his backyard because he didn’t want to mow it anymore. And yes, he painted it green, But he didn’t have to paint it green. He could’ve gone with orange or something if he wanted and it wouldn’t have mattered. That’s the point I’m trying to make here.

The folks at SUNY Morrisville, near Syracuse, New York, understand this. They just unveiled their new artificial turf for its football (and soccer, lacrosse, and field hockey) stadium, and they were not beholden to mindless convention in doing so:

It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black. It’ll probably look pretty badass come October even if I wouldn’t want to do two-a-day practices on it in August.

My grandfather died in the mid-1960s, presumably after many years of fighting with the City of Dearborn, Michigan over the fact that he friggin’ paved over his backyard. My grandmother lived in the house until she died in 1978. I have a few scattered memories of the place, but I don’t remember the backyard. My dad tells me that the yard stayed paved, though. The house, near the corner of Warren Ave. and Horger Street, was bulldozed some time in the 1980s and newer housing stock was built on it. The lot next to it, which my grandparents also owned, is now the overflow parking lot for the New Yasmeen Bakery which itself is on the site of the taxi garage my grandfather owned. The parking lot is paved and I have decided that that’s a tribute to Garfield Calcaterra, who sounded like he was a gigantic pain in everyone’s ass, God bless him.

Won’t someone think of the A-listers promoting blockbusters?

The WGA/SAG-AFTRA strike is delivering great, albeit necessary hardship on union writers and actors. These are hardworking people who overwhelmingly make very, very little money for what they do and who are now trying to prevent the erosion of what little earning power they have remaining in the face of corporate studio greed.

Of course there’s also that small slice of union members — the very few name writers and A-list actors — who are wealthy. They too are on strike. And they too have to make sacrifices:

The stakes are so high on summer films like “Dead Reckoning Part One,” “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” that Tom Cruise asked SAG-AFTRA to allow movie stars to continue promoting their new films, given the challenging theatrical landscape, sources say. The union countered by asking Cruise to join the picket lines, noting that having one of the world’s biggest movie stars visibly in its corner would send a strong message to the studios. Cruise was noncommittal, but offered to assist in other ways. Instead of granting any waivers, the union ultimately banned all of its members from doing promotional press on studio films.

Given that I said some moderately nice things about Tom Cruise the other day I feel obligated now to tell him to suck it up, put on his big boy pants, and actually forego a couple of dumb premiers and press junkets to support a movie that, per the laws of physics, was gonna make a billion dollars regardless of how hard he promoted it, and actually support the damn union to which he belongs. Trust me, Tom, you’ll be OK.

We may through with the past, but the past is not through with us

In Spain, farmers are excavating thousand-year-old irrigation canals, built by the Moors, in an effort to deal with climate change-induced heatwaves and droughts. In Ukraine, troops are finding World War II remnants, including old swastikas and skeletons of soldiers on the modern battlefield and soldiers have found themselves taking cover in 80-year-old concrete bunkers once used by German and Soviet troops as their war objectives, broadly speaking, mirror those of the armies which fought there in the 1940s.

Time is a flat circle. All of this has happened before and will happen again. And we, as humans, never seem to learn anything.

Have a great day everyone.

1. If he tries to deny this in the comments today ask him what his Instagram handle is.