The Juan Soto deal, the Craig Kimbrel signing, a looming threat in St. Louis, no thanks Bryce, reporters who have lost the plot, the Frick Award, Great Moments in Chipotle, trains, and Norman Lear
A: I don't think I have to defend my baseball fandom but no part of me is sitting around in the off-season waiting for breaking trade/signing news. I keep an eye on my team but I actually like the little surprise when I'm not thinking about it and something happens. Cry me a river Kenny.
B: I don't eat fast food much but if I do Chipotle is the likely destination. I would say they do have it worse than the average place with pre-made fries and sandwiches. Just over a week ago I was at a location during the lunch rush, probably a good 20+ people in line plus an obvious large amount of online orders they were trying to fill, and there was one customer who asked for more of EVERYTHING being put in the bowl. Scoop of rice. "Can I get more than that?" Scoop of beans. "Can I get more than that?" The sh1t went down when it came to the meat though. Scoop of one meat. "Can I also get a scoop of chicken?" "We have to charge you more." "Then can I get another scoop of (whatever the first meat was)?" "We have to charge you more for that too." An negotiation ensued but it was resolved. Then, an I get more cheese, guac, etc. The person behind THAT person was ordering for 3-4 other people each with their own choices, etc. Meanwhile you have 20 people huffing and puffing in line just primed to get in the face of the first friendly Chipotle staff ready to serve them. Chipotle: the postal service of the fast food industry.
Newer Chipotles, at least the new one by me, as a separate prep area for online orders. That doesn't solve the problem of people in the store who want to treat each burrito as a negotiation, but it at least solves the problem of online orders holding up the in person line.
I don’t eat at Chipotle -- nothing against them just a couple better Mexican restaurants nearby -- but I’ve noticed this strange phenomena at Starbucks the past few years. The store is empty yet the employees are scurrying around like their hair is on fire and there are 8 drinks at the pickup bar with no one waiting for them.
I think online ordering really took off for them during the pandemic and now it’s not just an additional revenue stream but 2/3 of their orders (at least at peak times) which creates a weird experience for in-person customers.
I rarely order pickup but last night it was necessary to make it to the grandkids Christmas program on time. Ordered Thai from a convenient place and said 5 PM. I was estimating I-5 traffic and Seattle folks know what a joke that is. Surprise, I got there at 4:45 ... and had to wait 15 minutes in a nearly empty restaurant because...it wasn't 5 yet. Seriously? It isn't all sitting in pots somewhere in the back? Huh.
Restaurants try to time your order so it is still hot when you arrive at the designated time (this especially goes for fried items like crab rangoon or things of that nature). If the order sits around for 15 minutes before it is picked up, it gets cold, and some customers will complain or post a bad review.
I remember, pre-pandemic, pulling up to Starbucks and seeing a line 20 cars deep. I went inside and was 2nd in line to order. And then I waited 20 minutes watching them serve most of the drive-thru first.
I wish all of these restaurants would decide what they are equipped to do and what they want to prioritize and then do it. If the only way to get timely service from a place is mobile orders, then they should decide they’re only accepting mobile orders. I know this is way above the level of store employees to dictate but something’s gotta give. (Also I think Doordash and UberEats and the like ought to be shut down for how badly they screw both the people who work for them and the restaurants themselves).
Besides, to the extent baseball signings are entertainment, why would it be more entertaining to have all those signings in a short period of time? Then what else are they going to write about all winter?
Maybe Rosenthal just wants the signings over with so he can take a 2 month vacation until pitchers and catchers report.
Zach Lowe seems to love the quiet time between July 15 and August 30, and always goes to visit his wife's family in Serbia. But the NBA is a different beast.
Increasing the risk that Soto becomes a very pricey rental, though I would think the Yankees are the front runners.
Which could in turn mean there is one less team bidding for Pete Alonso (every Mets fan wakes up sweating in the night at the fear of Alonso in the Bronx).
Not saying you're wrong, but the Washington Deadnames under Dan Snyder were notorious for "winning the offseason" and then faceplanting when the season started. Let's wait until the games start to decide if they're back.
Unless you mean the Yankees are back to winning the offseason - which might not even be true if Ohtani signs anywhere else.
Yeah, the chances of him signing an extension before Opening Day are low, and after Opening Day are practically nil, unless they give him an offer that rivals whatever Ohtani is going to get. But on the other hand, if he has a good season in NY and he likes playing there, I think it's more likely that he signs with the Yankees (because then it's just a simple money equation) than if he was a free agent after a season playing elsewhere. I think the risk of a rental player bolting after the season is less of an issue for teams like the Yankees and Dodgers than most other teams.
Moving from the marine layer to the short porch could easily boost Soto’s OPS a hundred points without budging his OPS+. A .300 average, 45 homers, 135 walks. The latter will probably keep him from astronomical ribbie totals but checking box scores will be fun.
Interesting that the haul coming back is almost all older than Soto.
...
Just as the writers tend to root for interesting games rather than specific outcomes, they root for exciting off seasons too. Complaining that they want more info from Shohei’s camp is complaining that fish want water.
...
The Kimbrel / Venters / O’Flaherty bullpen was the best I’ve ever followed closely. Especially the one season with Billy Wagner. I refuse to believe that was almost 14 years ago. Good for Kimbrel to still be around and reasonably effective.
This is accurate: “Just as the writers tend to root for interesting games rather than specific outcomes, they root for exciting off seasons too. Complaining that they want more info from Shohei’s camp is complaining that fish want water.”
My issue is not that they want an exciting offseason. My issues is that they do not say "I would prefer an exciting offseason." Rather, they cast it as a fundamental flaw with the sport that is making EVERYONE unhappy and here, Rob Manfred, are the changes that should be made!"
It's one thing to prefer something. It's another thing to claim that their personal preferences should be catered to while presuming everyone else shares them.
I dunno, Craig. They have a platform and are making a case for something they think would make the game more exciting/fun for baseball fans. The fact that you disagree doesn’t mean that EVERYONE shares your view that’s not a good idea, either. Now, that said, your concern about the labor impact of the proposed fake deadline is totally legit. FWIW, I am also an Athletic subscriber and multiple podcasters there noted that this idea is totally DOA. So, I guess I take it all as sort of spitballing during what had been (maybe until last night) a fairly boring Winter Meetings.
They're making a disingenuous case by claiming that Shohei Ohtani and his agents are doing bad things and harming MLB and its fans rather than simply saying "this would be better."
I may end up being wildly wrong I suppose but I think that's a borderline terrible haul for Soto. I know it's hard to get younger when you're dealing a 25 year old super star but that compensation for Soto is wildly shortsighted imo.
The concept if trading contracts is essentially MLB owner/GM propaganda that has infected MLB Fanhood. People can be fans how they want to be fans. I just decline to be that way. I'm a fan of a small market team and I've been listening to GMs and fans talk about clearing contracts since the 1980s as a result, always with the vague notion that the decreased bottom line for player salaries after a trade and in the years of control that follows will somehow convert itself into additional money being available for new players or extensions of current players. Often that's really nothing more than an attempt to distract fans from the fact that their team just shipped out one of the best players in the game.
I don't really care about the Padres one way or the other unless they're irritating the Dodgers but if I did, I'd be actually excited about one player in that deal. I'm not watching MLB to see who can make the cleverest moves and have the most future financial flexibility or the best salary/win ratio. I watch to see players play, and preferably to see great players wearing uniforms for teams I care about. That's silly in the way all fanhood is silly, but I much prefer that to caring about the accounting on the vague, usually unfulfilled promise of using the now freed up dollars to get better later or watching trams try to win on the cheap.
As I said people can be fans the way they want to be fans. My way doesn't care about the accounting. It used to. But I got over that when the Brewers spent half a decade saying they were handcuffed by Teddy Higuera's contract and then cut payroll and let Paul Molitor walk after Higuera's contract went off the books.
Was thinking the same thing. The Yankees gave them a few useful but mediocre players and a prospect for one year of a top-20 player in the league. I think the Yankees win the trade and the Padres don't need to take out a bridge loan.
I'm not an expert in the modern media environment, and these journalists do sound silly in their complaints (especially about the dog's name). But in an environment where clicks evidently determine a journalist's worth, are they really acting entitled, or is there personal professional desperation at play? I don't believe Rosenthal et al are genuinely unaware of the distinction between journalism and marketing, but, as with other entertainment journalism in a capitalist system, the value of reportage on an enterprise is determined by the visibility of said enterprise, and axes are falling everywhere.
Journalists feel entitled to know everything about anything and then get very indignant when they feel something is being kept from them. Life doesn't work that way just because they want it to.
As much as I and every other Mets fan is required to bemoan another superstar joining the Yankees...yes, it is good for baseball when the Yankees act like the Yankees and not, say, the Reds. Kind of sad, of course, that the Padres acquired Soto and traded him so fast, but at least they did well in the trade (maybe better than the Nats in the first trade). Now the big questions are: do the Yankees go all out on trying to extend Soto now, and how does wanting to keep Soto affect their chase for Yamamoto?
Speaking of whom, Steve Cohen flew to Japan to meet with Yamamoto ahead of the pitcher's planned American tour. I don't know if this moves the Mets up his preferred destination chart, but I doubt it hurts the cause. Meanwhile, the team signed Michael Tonkin to a two way deal, another small move in a series of them designed to bridge the gulf between the starters and Edwin Diaz. I am assuming this shows the resolve of Stearns to be methodical. In short, it's the Tonkin Gulf Resolution.
I'll show myself out.
As I have noted, I work in public media. Several years back, PBS aired an American Masters special about Norman Lear. Which means that a photo of Lear with the head of the company was posted on our intranet. Sometimes I can say I work at a cool place. Worth noting that Lear was working till his death, serving as a producer on a recent American Masters special about Rita Moreno and a critical documentary about the Baltimore PD. Not just a legend, but a legendary career that didn't really start in earnest till Lear was close to 50. RIP.
Nah, I’d bet on Gore to be better than Thorpe, Abrams might be a star soon, and Woods is still a top 10 prospect. Hassell has fallen off, but is still back half top 100 (Thorpe is near 100 or off the list depending on the evaluator). The Pads got a good return, but nowhere near what they gave up originally.
As a Red Sox fan I should hate the Soto signing, but I can't even hope that it'll spur the Red Sox to start acting like the Red Sox. 2004-2018 was a fluke. Short sighted personnel moves and cheapness are the Red Sox acting like the Red Sox.
The Washington Post union is on strike today and requested readers to not engage with the Post today. I thought you'd want to know, since you included a Washington Post link in the Chipotle burrito throwing story.
The strike is something I learned about while engaging with the Washington Post app this morning, in an article describing the strike and the union's ask of readers.
An A/I Bot would've written "prison sentence" instead of "carceral sentence," so at least we know the machines haven't taken over yet. Besides, my spell check doesn't even recognize "carceral." ;-)
What fast food restaurant is going to hire a person who is only there because they were sentenced to it? I'm sure she's going to be a conscientious and dedicated employee.
Then again, maybe fast food restaurants are so desperate that they'd hire anyone.
I’m assuming this is the same judge who abuses his position for all these hokey stunts. Which should paint a vivid picture of the absolute FUBAR state Ohio is in (if Craig hasn’t already). A nice civil payment from that patron and enough money for a 7-day vacation for that employee from corporate seems a better ruling.
Since presumably she will have to go back to the judge and prove that she did her job well enough that he shouldn't reinstate the rest of the sentence and throw her in the pokey, I'm guessing she has some incentive.
I’m feeling good about the Soto deal. It’s all fun and games until we hear about the oblique strain on March 2, followed by Aaron Boone angrily insisting daily that Soto will start Opening Day, followed by Soto going on the IL three days before the season and not debuting until June 10.
The baseball media, as is often the case with sports media, made a fool of itself once again this week. Stop grandstanding and making it about yourselves. There are a thousand stories to chase right now that could get clicks and attract readership/subscriptions. A column bitching that you don’t know the guy’s fucking dog’s name isn’t one of them. Jeff Passan has always been a weasel, Rosenthal has been sliding into weasel territory this year (remember when he ripped Eduardo Rodriguez for not accepting the Dodgers trade?). We need more Craig’s and less Passans and Carron Phillipses.
Oh god, more Craig’s. I take it back. The only Craig I want more of is the Dean from Community.
I think when Ken Rosenthal pressed Manny Machado about a trade - the year he was the Orioles’ lone all-star rep, in the GD dugout of the all-Star game - I was done with the buffoons on the national beat.
If I wanted gossip and drama and heaps of misleading information, I’d watch a Real Housewives franchise.
I am a huge Juan Soto fan, and I hope he puts up video game numbers in Yankee Stadium ... but I'm worried about what will happen to him with NYC fans and the media if he doesn't. $30-35M is nothing to sneeze at but I bet he'll be happy to have the relative security of a long-term deal soon.
PS Do we think Harper might be looking for an NFL-style "extension" that lengthens his deal but lowers the AAV so the team can spend elsewhere?
PPS I had the same thought about the punitive nature of the Chipotle sentence. Imagine Jean Valjean on the run, still in his apron and smelling vaguely of carne asada: "all I did/was throw a bowl...."
A: I don't think I have to defend my baseball fandom but no part of me is sitting around in the off-season waiting for breaking trade/signing news. I keep an eye on my team but I actually like the little surprise when I'm not thinking about it and something happens. Cry me a river Kenny.
B: I don't eat fast food much but if I do Chipotle is the likely destination. I would say they do have it worse than the average place with pre-made fries and sandwiches. Just over a week ago I was at a location during the lunch rush, probably a good 20+ people in line plus an obvious large amount of online orders they were trying to fill, and there was one customer who asked for more of EVERYTHING being put in the bowl. Scoop of rice. "Can I get more than that?" Scoop of beans. "Can I get more than that?" The sh1t went down when it came to the meat though. Scoop of one meat. "Can I also get a scoop of chicken?" "We have to charge you more." "Then can I get another scoop of (whatever the first meat was)?" "We have to charge you more for that too." An negotiation ensued but it was resolved. Then, an I get more cheese, guac, etc. The person behind THAT person was ordering for 3-4 other people each with their own choices, etc. Meanwhile you have 20 people huffing and puffing in line just primed to get in the face of the first friendly Chipotle staff ready to serve them. Chipotle: the postal service of the fast food industry.
Newer Chipotles, at least the new one by me, as a separate prep area for online orders. That doesn't solve the problem of people in the store who want to treat each burrito as a negotiation, but it at least solves the problem of online orders holding up the in person line.
I don’t eat at Chipotle -- nothing against them just a couple better Mexican restaurants nearby -- but I’ve noticed this strange phenomena at Starbucks the past few years. The store is empty yet the employees are scurrying around like their hair is on fire and there are 8 drinks at the pickup bar with no one waiting for them.
I think online ordering really took off for them during the pandemic and now it’s not just an additional revenue stream but 2/3 of their orders (at least at peak times) which creates a weird experience for in-person customers.
I rarely order pickup but last night it was necessary to make it to the grandkids Christmas program on time. Ordered Thai from a convenient place and said 5 PM. I was estimating I-5 traffic and Seattle folks know what a joke that is. Surprise, I got there at 4:45 ... and had to wait 15 minutes in a nearly empty restaurant because...it wasn't 5 yet. Seriously? It isn't all sitting in pots somewhere in the back? Huh.
Restaurants try to time your order so it is still hot when you arrive at the designated time (this especially goes for fried items like crab rangoon or things of that nature). If the order sits around for 15 minutes before it is picked up, it gets cold, and some customers will complain or post a bad review.
Thank you for the specifics of your parenthetical.
I remember, pre-pandemic, pulling up to Starbucks and seeing a line 20 cars deep. I went inside and was 2nd in line to order. And then I waited 20 minutes watching them serve most of the drive-thru first.
I wish all of these restaurants would decide what they are equipped to do and what they want to prioritize and then do it. If the only way to get timely service from a place is mobile orders, then they should decide they’re only accepting mobile orders. I know this is way above the level of store employees to dictate but something’s gotta give. (Also I think Doordash and UberEats and the like ought to be shut down for how badly they screw both the people who work for them and the restaurants themselves).
Cilantro and I are not friends. So no, I don’t go to Chipotle.
Besides, to the extent baseball signings are entertainment, why would it be more entertaining to have all those signings in a short period of time? Then what else are they going to write about all winter?
Maybe Rosenthal just wants the signings over with so he can take a 2 month vacation until pitchers and catchers report.
Zach Lowe seems to love the quiet time between July 15 and August 30, and always goes to visit his wife's family in Serbia. But the NBA is a different beast.
Soto is a Boras client, which presumably decreases the chance the Yankees sign him to an extension before he hits free agency.
Increasing the risk that Soto becomes a very pricey rental, though I would think the Yankees are the front runners.
Which could in turn mean there is one less team bidding for Pete Alonso (every Mets fan wakes up sweating in the night at the fear of Alonso in the Bronx).
THE YANKEES ARE BACK BABY!!
DEAL WITH IT!!!
Not saying you're wrong, but the Washington Deadnames under Dan Snyder were notorious for "winning the offseason" and then faceplanting when the season started. Let's wait until the games start to decide if they're back.
Unless you mean the Yankees are back to winning the offseason - which might not even be true if Ohtani signs anywhere else.
Yeah, the chances of him signing an extension before Opening Day are low, and after Opening Day are practically nil, unless they give him an offer that rivals whatever Ohtani is going to get. But on the other hand, if he has a good season in NY and he likes playing there, I think it's more likely that he signs with the Yankees (because then it's just a simple money equation) than if he was a free agent after a season playing elsewhere. I think the risk of a rental player bolting after the season is less of an issue for teams like the Yankees and Dodgers than most other teams.
Moving from the marine layer to the short porch could easily boost Soto’s OPS a hundred points without budging his OPS+. A .300 average, 45 homers, 135 walks. The latter will probably keep him from astronomical ribbie totals but checking box scores will be fun.
Interesting that the haul coming back is almost all older than Soto.
...
Just as the writers tend to root for interesting games rather than specific outcomes, they root for exciting off seasons too. Complaining that they want more info from Shohei’s camp is complaining that fish want water.
...
The Kimbrel / Venters / O’Flaherty bullpen was the best I’ve ever followed closely. Especially the one season with Billy Wagner. I refuse to believe that was almost 14 years ago. Good for Kimbrel to still be around and reasonably effective.
This is accurate: “Just as the writers tend to root for interesting games rather than specific outcomes, they root for exciting off seasons too. Complaining that they want more info from Shohei’s camp is complaining that fish want water.”
My issue is not that they want an exciting offseason. My issues is that they do not say "I would prefer an exciting offseason." Rather, they cast it as a fundamental flaw with the sport that is making EVERYONE unhappy and here, Rob Manfred, are the changes that should be made!"
It's one thing to prefer something. It's another thing to claim that their personal preferences should be catered to while presuming everyone else shares them.
I dunno, Craig. They have a platform and are making a case for something they think would make the game more exciting/fun for baseball fans. The fact that you disagree doesn’t mean that EVERYONE shares your view that’s not a good idea, either. Now, that said, your concern about the labor impact of the proposed fake deadline is totally legit. FWIW, I am also an Athletic subscriber and multiple podcasters there noted that this idea is totally DOA. So, I guess I take it all as sort of spitballing during what had been (maybe until last night) a fairly boring Winter Meetings.
They're making a disingenuous case by claiming that Shohei Ohtani and his agents are doing bad things and harming MLB and its fans rather than simply saying "this would be better."
Wait! You mean that people have biases that affect their actions and ability to self evaluate? I’m truly shocked!
I may end up being wildly wrong I suppose but I think that's a borderline terrible haul for Soto. I know it's hard to get younger when you're dealing a 25 year old super star but that compensation for Soto is wildly shortsighted imo.
The concept if trading contracts is essentially MLB owner/GM propaganda that has infected MLB Fanhood. People can be fans how they want to be fans. I just decline to be that way. I'm a fan of a small market team and I've been listening to GMs and fans talk about clearing contracts since the 1980s as a result, always with the vague notion that the decreased bottom line for player salaries after a trade and in the years of control that follows will somehow convert itself into additional money being available for new players or extensions of current players. Often that's really nothing more than an attempt to distract fans from the fact that their team just shipped out one of the best players in the game.
I don't really care about the Padres one way or the other unless they're irritating the Dodgers but if I did, I'd be actually excited about one player in that deal. I'm not watching MLB to see who can make the cleverest moves and have the most future financial flexibility or the best salary/win ratio. I watch to see players play, and preferably to see great players wearing uniforms for teams I care about. That's silly in the way all fanhood is silly, but I much prefer that to caring about the accounting on the vague, usually unfulfilled promise of using the now freed up dollars to get better later or watching trams try to win on the cheap.
As I said people can be fans the way they want to be fans. My way doesn't care about the accounting. It used to. But I got over that when the Brewers spent half a decade saying they were handcuffed by Teddy Higuera's contract and then cut payroll and let Paul Molitor walk after Higuera's contract went off the books.
Just want to say that as someone who IS a Padres fan, I also like them best when they are irritating the Dodgers!
Let's say it: this is a salary dump disguised as a "haul."
Was thinking the same thing. The Yankees gave them a few useful but mediocre players and a prospect for one year of a top-20 player in the league. I think the Yankees win the trade and the Padres don't need to take out a bridge loan.
I like the prospect anyway.
I'm not an expert in the modern media environment, and these journalists do sound silly in their complaints (especially about the dog's name). But in an environment where clicks evidently determine a journalist's worth, are they really acting entitled, or is there personal professional desperation at play? I don't believe Rosenthal et al are genuinely unaware of the distinction between journalism and marketing, but, as with other entertainment journalism in a capitalist system, the value of reportage on an enterprise is determined by the visibility of said enterprise, and axes are falling everywhere.
"Cheap, shitty owner..."
--insert gif of some famous person nodding knowingly--
Journalists feel entitled to know everything about anything and then get very indignant when they feel something is being kept from them. Life doesn't work that way just because they want it to.
As much as I and every other Mets fan is required to bemoan another superstar joining the Yankees...yes, it is good for baseball when the Yankees act like the Yankees and not, say, the Reds. Kind of sad, of course, that the Padres acquired Soto and traded him so fast, but at least they did well in the trade (maybe better than the Nats in the first trade). Now the big questions are: do the Yankees go all out on trying to extend Soto now, and how does wanting to keep Soto affect their chase for Yamamoto?
Speaking of whom, Steve Cohen flew to Japan to meet with Yamamoto ahead of the pitcher's planned American tour. I don't know if this moves the Mets up his preferred destination chart, but I doubt it hurts the cause. Meanwhile, the team signed Michael Tonkin to a two way deal, another small move in a series of them designed to bridge the gulf between the starters and Edwin Diaz. I am assuming this shows the resolve of Stearns to be methodical. In short, it's the Tonkin Gulf Resolution.
I'll show myself out.
As I have noted, I work in public media. Several years back, PBS aired an American Masters special about Norman Lear. Which means that a photo of Lear with the head of the company was posted on our intranet. Sometimes I can say I work at a cool place. Worth noting that Lear was working till his death, serving as a producer on a recent American Masters special about Rita Moreno and a critical documentary about the Baltimore PD. Not just a legend, but a legendary career that didn't really start in earnest till Lear was close to 50. RIP.
Nah, I’d bet on Gore to be better than Thorpe, Abrams might be a star soon, and Woods is still a top 10 prospect. Hassell has fallen off, but is still back half top 100 (Thorpe is near 100 or off the list depending on the evaluator). The Pads got a good return, but nowhere near what they gave up originally.
As a Red Sox fan I should hate the Soto signing, but I can't even hope that it'll spur the Red Sox to start acting like the Red Sox. 2004-2018 was a fluke. Short sighted personnel moves and cheapness are the Red Sox acting like the Red Sox.
The Washington Post union is on strike today and requested readers to not engage with the Post today. I thought you'd want to know, since you included a Washington Post link in the Chipotle burrito throwing story.
Ah, thank you. Was not aware of that somehow.
I had not heard, but it's worth publicizing.
https://www.npr.org/2023/12/07/1217690720/washington-post-workers-strike
(And yes, it's ironic to find a story about newsroom cutbacks at a site affected by newsroom cutbacks.)
Wait. A large organization owned by a billionaire wants to cut labor costs, claiming losses without proof despite appearances to the contrary?
But enough about John Fisher.
I hadn't read about that strike in the Post. Strange that they somehow missed that story.
Check the Style section. Seriously.
The strike is something I learned about while engaging with the Washington Post app this morning, in an article describing the strike and the union's ask of readers.
An A/I Bot would've written "prison sentence" instead of "carceral sentence," so at least we know the machines haven't taken over yet. Besides, my spell check doesn't even recognize "carceral." ;-)
The car cereal of choice when our kids were little was Cheerios. Because everyone needs to be cheerful.
Cheerios..hiding under car seats and filling car vacs since car seats were invented!
Also getting wedged in the crevices of high chairs and getting snarfed off the kitchen floor by the family dog!
An AI bot would have written "canceral sentence".
Or canceral sentience.
I almost made that joke, since it is the best two-word description of AI possible.
What fast food restaurant is going to hire a person who is only there because they were sentenced to it? I'm sure she's going to be a conscientious and dedicated employee.
Then again, maybe fast food restaurants are so desperate that they'd hire anyone.
I’m assuming this is the same judge who abuses his position for all these hokey stunts. Which should paint a vivid picture of the absolute FUBAR state Ohio is in (if Craig hasn’t already). A nice civil payment from that patron and enough money for a 7-day vacation for that employee from corporate seems a better ruling.
Since presumably she will have to go back to the judge and prove that she did her job well enough that he shouldn't reinstate the rest of the sentence and throw her in the pokey, I'm guessing she has some incentive.
I’m feeling good about the Soto deal. It’s all fun and games until we hear about the oblique strain on March 2, followed by Aaron Boone angrily insisting daily that Soto will start Opening Day, followed by Soto going on the IL three days before the season and not debuting until June 10.
The baseball media, as is often the case with sports media, made a fool of itself once again this week. Stop grandstanding and making it about yourselves. There are a thousand stories to chase right now that could get clicks and attract readership/subscriptions. A column bitching that you don’t know the guy’s fucking dog’s name isn’t one of them. Jeff Passan has always been a weasel, Rosenthal has been sliding into weasel territory this year (remember when he ripped Eduardo Rodriguez for not accepting the Dodgers trade?). We need more Craig’s and less Passans and Carron Phillipses.
Oh god, more Craig’s. I take it back. The only Craig I want more of is the Dean from Community.
Who’s on our Craig Mount Rushmore? I’m going with Dean Pelton, Daniel Craig, Calcaterra (of course), and…..Craig Sager? Craig Robinson?
T. Nelson? Craig Mack?
CJ Cregg or we riot.
That would be on the Cregg Mount Rushmore. Wrong comment thread.
Everybody misspells it anyway. I said what I said.
You have my sword.
Craig from South Park. If I could send all these fucking national reporters and deadbeat self-centered jerkwads to Mars, I’d be soooo happy.
https://youtu.be/Zu6u1Ta_aqE?si=XMOlXCcOTtJjrnU_
How about Cragg Antler (a Bullwinkle Show deep cut)?
Craig Ferguson!!
C(G)raig Nettles
"Linda, first of all, I'm not your answering service; second of all, somebody named Greg or Craig called you just a little while ago."
"Well, which one was it, Greg or Craig?"
"I don't know! I can't keep up of all of your boyfriends!"
I’ve always believed that was a typo on his birth certificate.
Roger
Both!
Craig Biggio, Roger Craig, Craig "Ironhead" Heyward, Craig James, Craig Robinson, Craig T. Nelson, Craig Ferguson, Craig Counsell, Craig Ehlo, Craig Johnson, Craig Gannon...many fine choices!
What did you do, visit Craigapedia?
What can I say, I know of a lotta Craigs!
Craig Kelly free ride snowboard legend
Counsell, of course.
Signed, a Cubs fan.
Not related in any way to today's newsletter, but I saw this and immediately thought people here (i.e., Craig) should know it exists: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-national-lyrics-or-things-my-dad-says-while-refusing-to-check-google-maps
That is fantastic. Thanks for sharing.
Said it before and I'll say it again: I love baseball, but the worst thing about the game is MLB.
and the 2nd worst thing about the game is The MLB
Happy birthday in heaven to Don Vito Corleone.
I think when Ken Rosenthal pressed Manny Machado about a trade - the year he was the Orioles’ lone all-star rep, in the GD dugout of the all-Star game - I was done with the buffoons on the national beat.
If I wanted gossip and drama and heaps of misleading information, I’d watch a Real Housewives franchise.
A-freaking-men. There are days I’m grateful to be a fan of a flyover state team.
I am a huge Juan Soto fan, and I hope he puts up video game numbers in Yankee Stadium ... but I'm worried about what will happen to him with NYC fans and the media if he doesn't. $30-35M is nothing to sneeze at but I bet he'll be happy to have the relative security of a long-term deal soon.
PS Do we think Harper might be looking for an NFL-style "extension" that lengthens his deal but lowers the AAV so the team can spend elsewhere?
PPS I had the same thought about the punitive nature of the Chipotle sentence. Imagine Jean Valjean on the run, still in his apron and smelling vaguely of carne asada: "all I did/was throw a bowl...."
Juan Soto was traded. Ken Rosenthal, are you not entertained!?