104 Comments
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I thought the only surprise from this story was that “wife” was not “ex-wife”

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Such a bummer he keeps failing up/failing into more jobs. ChiSox are fun this year and I'd like to cheer for them without feeling morally compromised. I guess the Royals have to get my AL Central love this year (no doubt everyone has been waiting with bated breath).

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Yeah I mean Moncada, Robert, Giolito, Kopech, among others. A giant stick...somewhere, amirite?

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So if you were able to get through security with the second bag in the small of your back, what was the purpose of your first bag? Distraction?

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Nice pull on the Eliot... your recaps are often poetic, but it’s nice to see some actual poetry in there every now and then.

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Apr 29, 2021Liked by Craig Calcaterra

We have measured out our lives in coffee posts

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I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear my baseball trousers rolled.

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Whan that Aprile, with is shures sote the drought of March hat perced to the rote....Grab America by the queynte!

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realized I only had one more day of April left and we may not get a rainout today!

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With so few commenters apparently versed in Morrissey and The Smiths, I wonder how many got the reference to Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SckD99B51IA

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I have a huge place in my heart for astronauts.

I worked at the Lennox Town Center Barnes & Noble in Columbus throughout college. Senator/Sir/Mister John Glenn would arrive with his wife on Sunday, sometimes. They’d come to cafe and do you know what he ordered every time?

Venti green tea Frappuccino, light ice, extra matcha. He said please and thank you and tipped and that mother fucker WENT TO SPACE ON A ROMAN CANDLE.

Do you know how nerve wracking it is to make a blended beverage for a spaceman?

Just outrageously kind, and he forever changed my opinion of tea and smoothies.

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Astronauts are pretty much the only type of celebrity who've earned the status, in my opinion. Both danger and nobility in their accomplishment. I'm always awestruck.

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Craig is right that Collins deserves much more public recognition. Hell, I'm trying to celebrate astronauts generally here and I have to tell a story about another guy.

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Shildt didn't *let* Cabrera stay in the game. The three batter minimum rule required that he keep him in the game, a topic Shildt addressed in his post-game comments.

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Donate today to the Buy the Mets a Hit Fund today! Save deGrom’s sanity now!

Is it bad of me that I wish that elephant had returned the favor to LaPierre?

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You did here about how elephants have started to kill poachers by sitting on them and then the lions eat the poacher?

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I hope the lion didn’t get sick from eating someone so toxic.

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I hope this doesn’t get to the point that I ‘look’ for things to do instead of sitting in front of the TV watching the games. Big difference from when I ‘have’ things to do.

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I know the Pirates are not the most interesting team but the Royals are doing good stuff. You could have at least given them a one line recap instead of erasing them from history.

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Was good for leaving off a game once a month or so back at NBC, but wow, I haven't done that in a while.

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I thought I was losing my mind looking for the Royals recap. You can make it up with about 500 words on them tomorrow. 👍

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Just to illuminate how tight the margins are in independent ball, the most expensive line item is not salaries, not stadium rent, not field maintenance, but insurance for worker's compensation.

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You're right - that throws it into pretty stark relief.

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Let’s not hit anyone in the face with any pitches again, okay? I have my blood pressure to worry about and the players than have a lifetime of CTE to worry about.

Even though he’s a Mets player, I feel bad for deGrom. That’s gotta suck after awhile.

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Man, if there was ever a sure fire way to show the world you're an impotent and insecure old man, it's the shooting of endangered species. I have a wealthy customer who himself has paid tens of thousands to "hunt" lions in Africa, mountain sheep/goats in Afghanistan, and even reindeer in Iceland and he admits there's very little "hunt." More like, "sit here and they will walk by shortly because we've baited the trail daily for years now." All for a photo op with the carcass.

Oh, and ketchup goes in the fridge once opened, but hot sauce can stay out. I recall some famous TV chef saying (about hot sauce), "bacteria doesn't want to live in there any more than you do."

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Agree with the description. But I love it.

If we only consumed stuff that was good for us, the alcohol industry would need price supports.

And where would all the good bootleg stories come from??

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If only Heinz ketchup wasn’t a near-addiction for me! I have used mediocre fries as utensils to get my Heinz fix.

However I am from Chicago, and sliced tomatoes are what goes on a hot dog, not Big K.

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I think first you have to want to quit, right?

Then there’s the matter of chocolate...

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Hot sauce usually ends up all over my bird feeders, which is great for neighbors because it also alerts them that it will inexplicably pour down rain in exactly half an hour while squirrels party and eat no-longer-fiery seeds.

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It's also useful for owners of puppies who like to eat their own poop. #TheMoreYouKnow

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My dog growing up was notorious for loving vegetables (especially carrots). If you were in the kitchen chopping vegetables she was always there waiting for handouts and if you accidentally dropped a piece she was on it. One time I was grating some fresh ginger and a big hunk of root flew out of my hand. Of course she wasted no time snatching it up but, boy, was she surprised when she bit into it. She immediately spit it out and left it alone. I had never seen her steer clear of anything remotely resembling food like that.

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oh

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I contain multitudes, friend.

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Coprophagia could be the answer to monstrously overpriced ballpark hot dogs.

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Do you put the hot sauce on the puppy or on the poop?

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I don't know what Tabasco would do for poop, but I do know it won't do shit for coprolite.

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I much prefer to eat ketchup that is room temperature, but the bottle says "Refrigerate after opening", so I eat burgers with cold ketchup on them.

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Apr 29, 2021Liked by Craig Calcaterra

Thank you for the mention of Michael Collins, IMO one of the most underappreciated people in American history.

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Somehow, I have not read this book yet, but I saw so many people recommending it on my Twitter feed yesterday that made the purchase and it's on the way. Really looking forward to it.

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You can get a used copy for the low low price of $91 on Amazon!

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Shocked that Churchill Downs would let you bring ANY concessions inside. Doesn’t soda have even more of a markup than alcohol?

Crazy story though! Now those drunk college students have graduated into parents trying to smuggle snacks into a movie theater.

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That whole "triple short of the cycle" bit has stuck with me all these years to the point that I don't even consider the cycle in play until the triple is on the board. Gleeman wasn't wrong.

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Same. If it's down to a triple and it almost certainly is, it ain't gonna happen.

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I could see that scenario increasing the chance of triple slightly because a hit where the guy normally been content to stop at second tries to stretch it if at all plausible to get the cycle.

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True. I can see that.

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Why do I remember Jim Bouton having not nice things to say about La Russa? I don't remember what he said but I have a felt sense for some beef he had with him even back then before he was a name.

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Taylor was just a single, double, and HR short of the cycle.

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The Mets as the Evil Empire? Are you confusing them with their crosstown rivals?

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