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Seems like a lot of work for Craig to sort out who got bald naturally (and HOW bald), versus who cheated and got there artificially

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Kapler all the way!

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Wildfire, as in Tommy, "Wildfire" Rich?

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He was my favorite TBS wrestler back when I was in junior high school. I don't know if it's sad or impressive that he is still getting into the ring.

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I'd say it's a little bit of both, actually. And he's hardly the only old-timey southern wrestler out there on the circuit - Rock 'n Roll Express, as just one example, are pretty active too, although Ricky moreso than Robert.

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Honestly, if Bochy is the least handsome, we are doing well.

Meanwhile, the Braves signed Sean Murphy to the latest in a series of team-friendly medium-term contracts. I really wonder if the union wants to talk to its younger players about this. But I suspect this is the future. and if the Mets really do succeed in building a farm system, this will be the model they use and not the current Spend Steve Cohen's Money plan.

Still no word on Correa, which is not surprising.

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I think I wrote about it in an earlier installment, but the most handsome manager like 25 years ago would be at the bottom of the list now. Just a total sea change in managerial handsomeness in our lifetime. Surprisingly few people talk about this important development.

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But surely in any era, no one would call Casey Stengel handsome.

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I don’t know. Winning puts a spring in your step.

The real question is how you rank Billy Martin. Don’t want him to hulk out.

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Twenty five years ago we had Bochy already looking like Bochy, and a more healthy Francona.

We had the better looking Bob instead of the lesser Aaron Boone - no implied comment on the handsomeness of Mrs Boone. And speaking of fathers and sons, I’d suggest Buddy would rank ahead of David Bell.

Now of course Dave’s Johnson, Tom Kelly (especially with the indoor / outdoor tinted glasses) Gene LaMont, and Jimy Williams weren’t on the top of the list; however Joe Torre grew into his own, looking much better at 60 than 25. And Bobby Valentine was a hunk o’ burning looks!

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Is this the same Bruce Bochy that managed the Padres in 1998, or is he related to that guy?

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One of my favorite games to play with my wife when I'm reading about old-timey baseball is to have her guess the ages of people based on what they look like in photos and it'll always be some photo of like Grover Cleveland Alexander looking like he's 78 when he's actually 21. In conclusion, it's amazing what a difference sunscreen and brushing your teeth make.

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Bochy is too low. He looks better than he used to. And giant heads are camera-friendly.

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As someone who wears a 7 7/8 hat...I can attest that gargantuan gords are indeed, camera friendly.

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This may be the only managerial list where Dave Martinez breaks out of the #30 spot.

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Beat me to it… And while he does smile, it’s usually only when he has the chance to embarrass a young player and/or overlook the poor play of a retread on the roster… of which there are many, and who get most of the playing time.

I can’t wait until we get someone new, even if they do end up threatening Bruce Bochy for last place. At least it would be here instead of the standings.

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I rarely waste my time commenting on Neanderthalhitterball these days but, as Craigster has pointed out, the interregnum between conspicuousconsumptionday and sameshitdifferentday is oblivious to chronology - like the uncanny "empty days" at the end of the Aztec calendar. Ergo, I will bud from precedent like a hydra and point out that being a first time rookie manager with the Marlins is like being a first year intern in the trauma ward of an emergency room of an inner city hospital somewhere in the rust belt.

Good luck Skip.

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No joke this is how I learn who is managing which team. Thanks for your service

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deletedDec 28, 2022·edited Dec 28, 2022
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I want the pictures primarily to appreciate Craig's evaluations.

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Definitely had never heard of some of these guys!

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Also going for Baker’s Most Handsome Manager Ranking is his constant championing of Glenn Burke in/re the high five. Given how homophobic baseball is, it means a lot to this queer fan.

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Dusty contains multitudes. It's a genuine treat to watch him work -- in all his workplaces.

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Just your regular reminder that the Lerner family (who owns the Nats and essentially ran Dusty out of town in 2017 after he won 96 games a year for two years) can go STRAIGHT TO HELL.

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This lesbian fan too!

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The 🏳️‍🌈 community 4 Dusty!

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Dec 28, 2022·edited Dec 28, 2022

Have we ever seen Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone together in the same place? Did Cashman just have a Boone mask made so he could manage the team and still have a patsy for his many failures? And of course, Cashman would choose Boone's face to mimic because he thinks that Yankee fans would be far more lenient on the guy who hit a big home run against the Sawx, even though fans couldn't care less because the Yanks lost to the freakin' Marlins that year.

-Vinnie from the Bronx

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Skip Schumacher’s tattoo looks like a sign you buy at Home Goods for $10. I assume aesthetic handsomeness precludes judgement.

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Just had the following conversation with Mrs. Cosmo:

Me: "So, there's this baseball writer that I follow. Every year he does a list of the most handsome managers."

Her: "Brad???"

Toward the end of his time with Detroit, my wife was probably the only person left who wanted to see Ausmus in the dugout. In our house, he was known simply as "Handsome Brad." A discussion of how Brad inspired the list and his various attributes follows.

Her: "And he went to Dartmouth, so he's smart."

Me: "You wouldn't know it by his bullpen usage."

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In my house he will forever be known as HottyMcAusmus, which my then 8 yo named him. Lol.

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Dec 28, 2022Liked by Craig Calcaterra

I feel pretty certain that this ranking is how I originally was introduced to one Craig Calcaterra. This is one of my favorite things of the year.

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Dec 28, 2022Liked by Craig Calcaterra

Me too. It's not truly the holiday season until this list, and the Williams Sonoma piece from Defector, comes out and is duly read.

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Haha! I almost mentioned that as another thing I look forward to every year. Indeed.

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Why isn't this on free Thursdays? How are the managers supposed to know where they rank on baseball's most important list?

I have no complaints this year. Skip is the shiny new toy that gets all the attention but I'm sure Kap will return to his rightful place next year.

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Haha, today's it's a Free Wednesday. It's open for everyone.

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Maybe if he does something to his chia pet beard.

It is a little too manicured. Kinda like the “suit” thing. trying way to hard. But in his defense didn’t he also mention* a “track suit?” That should endear him to the Anglo file author.

*I am going by memory, not going to find and rewatch that video

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I'm going to say it. Bochy is too low. He lost a ton of weight from his Giants days. Doesn't that effort get rewarded?

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Counsell looks young, keeps looking young and then *bam* one day you look at him and see Sparky Anderson

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Let gravity work its magic for a few more years and Rob Thomson will be giving Don Mossi a run for his money.

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