Cup of Coffee: December 29, 2023

More Wander Franco news, a minor signing, bad merch, Andrelton Simmons' retirement, some super immature words about Andrelton Simmons' anatomy, Nikki Haley, and my thoughts on some cities

Good morning!

It’s the last newsletter of 2023, folks. Which means . . . well, nothing really. I don’t do end-of-year-lists or year-in-review stuff, so this is just Friday. Monday is a holiday and will thus likely be a thread instead of a real newsletter but I suppose that could change. Depends on whether I manage to shake this cold. Depends on whether anything worth writing about happens. I’ll be here in some form, however, to usher in the new year.

Today we have more Wander Franco news, the most minor signing possible, bad sports merch, a notable retirement, and some seriously immature words about that retiree’s anatomy. Don’t blame me, though. It’s impossible to grow old as long as you remain young at heart and, technically speaking, to be a middle school-level jackwagon is to be young at heart.

In Other Stuff I talk about Nikki Haley’s non-gaffe — and really, it’s not a gaffe because she said what she meant — and talk some about cities. Yeah, it’s another light day but, in my defense, I spent most of yesterday hacking up my lungs. And yeah, it’s serious:

No one takes me seriously. Even when my heart aches. Even when a drowsy numbness pains my sense as though of hemlock I had drunk and whatnot. How long is this posthumous existence of mine to go on?