Cup of Coffee: August 18, 2022

Walkoff grand slams, a ball dies in the mud, a long-tenured executive gets the axe, and we talk about Liz Cheney, mock Donald Trump, and ask some pretty personal questions about Captain America

Good morning! And welcome to Free Thursday!

There’s a lot to get to today, so let’s get to gettin’ shall we?

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And That Happened

Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Mets 9, Atlanta 7: The Mets called up prospect Brett Baty in time for yesterday’s game and he homered in his first major league at-bat. He could go his whole life and do amazing things — things you people wouldn't believe, like witness attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion and see C-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhauser gate — but he’ll always remember his MLB debut. Starling Marte went deep twice. Atlanta made it interesting late, with Vaughn Grissom hitting a two-run single in the ninth and Ronald Acuña Jr. coming to the plate as the potential tying run but Trevor May got him to fly out to the warming track, gulp, to end the game.

Athletics 7, Rangers 2: Sean Murphy hit two homers and rookie Shea Langeliers hit his first major league home run. I’d stretch to find some sort of weird movie quote for Langeliers like I did for Baty, but I don’t really have time. And let’s be honest here, I was waiting for some excuse to use a Baty/Batty joke. These things take time, dammit. I don’t just wake up in the morning and rattle this crap off all willy-nilly.

[Editor: Could’ve fooled me]

Lotta work goes into this, man.

Padres 10, Marlins 3: Jake Cronenworth hit a grand slam. Ha-Seong Kim drove in four runs too, but he took longer to do it, going 3-for-4 with two doubles. Juan Soto reached base three times and scored twice as the Padres avoid the sweep. Padres pitcher Mike Clevinger could not go five and did not get a decision despite all of that run support, saying after the game, “I had issues attacking the zone.” If you have stamina problems and issues attacking the zone, ask your doctor about Hellawood Instant Male Enhancement. Hellawood: for when the moment is right . . . now.

Twins 4, Royals 0: Twins starter Tyler Mahle, who was only making his third start since coming over from Cincinnati at the deadline, came out of the game in the middle of an at-bat in the third inning after he spent the day with his fastball averaging around 89 MPH as opposed to his usual 93.4 MPH. He was later said to have “shoulder fatigue” which, I know is a thing, but always sounds like a Dr. Nick Riviera diagnosis or the “brain fog” Tom Hanks had in “Joe Versus The Volcano.” Mahle didn’t give up any runs, however, and a parade of relievers after him shut out the Royals the rest of the way. José Miranda homered and Nick Gordon doubled in a run. The Twinkies complete the three-game sweep.

Mariners 11, Angels 7: It was a Tungsten-Arm O’Doyle Special as the Angels lost despite Shohei Ohtani hitting a two-run homer, an RBI triple, and notching four hits and four RBI in all. For Seattle, which has more than one good player, Cal Raleigh homered twice, Eugenio Suárez and Jesse Winker each hit a two-run shot, and Carlos Santana had a two-run single.

Reds 1, Phillies 0: Bupkis all around until two out in the bottom of the ninth when José Barrero hit a walkoff RBI single and followed it up with a major league cliche by saying “I was fortunate enough to make contact . . . All I wanted to do was help the team by making contact.” Bad reporting here, however, as it seems no one followed up with “so you’re saying you didn’t try to do too much? That you were only taking what the pitcher was giving to you?”

Cubs 3, Nationals 2: P.J. Higgins hit a two-run homer in the fifth and Yan Gomes hit a go-ahead RBI single in the seventh. A less-cliche quote, but even better one in my mind, came from Nats manager Dave Martinez after this one: “I think we're playing good baseball . . . Today it was just, there was no run production. I thought we had a chance to win the game, we just couldn't score runs.” I think I see your problem here, cap’n.

Blue Jays 6, Orioles 1: Ross Stripling was perfect through six before giving up a hit to lead off the seventh. Later that inning George Springer broke a scoreless tie with a pinch-hit RBI single and from there the Jays went crazy with Santiago Espinal hitting a two-run double and Alejandro Kirk hitting a two-run double of his own as Toronto put up a six-spot. Stripling got a no-decision, however, because he was not the pitcher of record in the bottom of the seventh. In other news, the rules regarding wins are dumb.

Red Sox 8, Pirates 3: Christian Arroyo had three hits and three RBI, Alex Verdugo reached base five times, and Rich Hill was solid enough to pick up his first win in a dog’s age. The Red Sox have won five of six. The Pirates have lost six in a row. On Tuesday night Dennis Eckersley ripped the Pirates, calling them “pathetic” and “a no-name lineup” a “hodgepodge of nothingness” and ripped the organization for having a low payroll and not trying. This caused a bit of a backlash from people on and around the Pirates but, my brother in Christ, I ask you to point out the lie to me.

Yankees 8, Rays 7: The Rays took a 4-0 lead by the sixth, New York battled back with a two-run Gleyber Torres homer in the bottom half, a bases-loaded walk to Aaron Judge in the seventh, and a game-tying Anthony Rizzo homer in the eighth. The Rays loaded the bases in the tenth and Francisco Mejía cleared them with a three-run double off of Aroldis Chapman. Normally that sort of thing would all but end a game but the Bombers showed bottom-of-the-tenth gumption by loading the bases themselves before Josh Donaldson hit a damn walkoff grand slam. This was the first time the Yankees had scored more than three runs in a game since August 8.

Guardians 8, Tigers 4: Cleveland put up a six-run eighth inning highlighted by José Ramírez’s go-ahead, two-run bloop double. All six of those runs — the others of which came via RBI doubles from Steven Kwan and Oscar Gonzalez and RBI singles from Amed Rosario and Owen Miller. All of those runs came with two outs too. What a train wreck the Tigers are these days.

Cardinals 5, Rockies 1: Jordan Montgomery picked up his third win in as many starts since coming over from the Yankees, allowing one run while pitching into the sixth, while Nolan Gorman — who I bet the Cardinals call “little Nolan” in the clubhouse — drove in three.

Astros 3, White Sox 2: Houston didn’t blow a late lead for once and won this one thanks to Framber Valdez allowing two runs over seven innings, Chas McCormick doubling in a run and Yordan Álvarez driving in a run and scoring one. The Astros go for the series split this afternoon.

Dodgers 2, Brewers 1: Tony Gonsolin ups his record to 15-1 with seven shutout innings. He was backed by solo shots from Austin Barnes and Max Muncy. Craig Kimbrel was shaky in the ninth once again but he did close out a game in which he inherited a one-run lead. Not a thing he’s done too much of lately. Los Angeles is 21-5 since the All-Star break.

Diamondbacks 3, Giants 2: Jake McCarthy hit a pinch-hit go-ahead two-run single in the eighth to push the Dbacks to victory. Earlier Arizona rookie Stone Garrett had an game-tying double in his big league debut. Best part of it: his dad traveled up to the game from Texas to watch him, showed up in a t-shirt, got cold on a typical chilly San Francisco night, and had to cheer his son on with a Giants sweatshirt he bought at the stadium. Garrett: “"I knew he was going to come without a long-sleeve shirt, I literally knew he was going to have to buy a Giants hoodie because it was cold and he got cold.” Dads, man.

Mud Hens 4, Clippers 0: I went to a Triple-A game here in Columbus last night with my friend Dave. It rained before the game, delaying the start by 45 minutes or so. It was still pretty damp on the field after they took the tarp off, but I didn’t realize how damp it was until this happened:

Toledo Mud Hens @MudHens

One of the rarest things you will ever see in baseball... Yes folks, that was a fair ball. 😂 #LetsGoHens | #DetroitRoots

We were sitting right behind home plate so we had a great view of it. Still, we really had no idea what had happened in real time because it’s one of those things you don’t expect to see so your brain doesn’t process it. It wasn’t until I looked at my phone and guys in a group chat I’m in were sharing this tweet that I realized what I had seen. For the record, the catcher picked it up and tagged the batter and he walked back to the dugout just as confused as everyone else.

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The Daily Briefing

Rangers fire Jon Daniels

A few short days after Rangers President of Baseball Operations Jon Daniels announced the firing of manager Chris Woodward, Daniels is no longer Rangers President of Baseball Operations. He’s been fired. From the statement from owner Ray Davis:

“The bottom line is we have not had a winning record since 2016 and for much of that time, have not been competitive in the A.L. West Division. While I am certain we are heading in the right direction, I feel a change in leadership of the baseball operations department will be beneficial going forward.”

General manager Chris Young will take over Daniels' duties.

Daniels has been with the Rangers for over 20 years, originally hiring on as an assistant to then-GM John Hart before the 2002 season. He climbed the ladder and eventually took over for Hart as GM following the 2005 season. As GM he helped put together Texas’ 2010 and 2011 AL Pennant-winning teams. He was promoted to President in March of 2013 and has held the role since. Texas won the AL West in 2015 and 2016 but they’ve been an also-ran, at best, for six seasons running.

Based on the rest of the statement it strikes me that Davis is keen on Young as opposed to super sour on Daniels, but it’s also the case that Davis seems to have some unrealistic expectations about what the 2022 Rangers team was supposed to do. Yeah, they made a couple of big free agent splashes, but the overall roster profiled as a sub-.500 group and, shocker, they’re a sub-.500 team right now.

We won’t know for sure what Davis really wants, I don’t suppose, until this winter when Young hires a new manager and makes his first solo moves as the top baseball executive.

A’s release Elvis Andrus

Elvis Andrus hit a home run in the Athletics' 5-1 victory against the Texas Rangers on Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning he was released.

The release comes a couple of days after Andrus complained about his playing time to the press, saying, “everybody knows I'm an everyday player. So doing this, it's not fun for me.” And by “this” is means not starting very often over the past week or so. Andrus added “Of course I'm upset. I'm pissed about it.”

Worth noting that, until that past week or so, Andrus had been starting most of the time and at the time of his release was tied for the most games played on the team, having seen action in 106 of the A’s 117 contests. While he hasn’t set the world on fire he has hit notably better than any other shortstop option the A’s have, with his putative replacements, Nick Allen and Sheldon Neuse, underperforming him.

What those two don’t have, however, is a contract provision with a plate appearances incentive which would convert a $15 million 2023 team option into a player option. At the time of his release Andrus had 386 plate appearances. The option would convert at 550. Given that the A’s had 45 games remaining as of yesterday morning it’s possible, but by no means probable, that Andrus would reach that mark, but I’m guessing the A’s did not want to even chance it.

Joey Votto to have season-ending surgery

Reds first baseman Joey Votto announced yesterday that he will have season-ending surgery for a rotator cuff tear on Friday.

Votto played through Tuesday and, in just the last week, played in the Field of Dreams Game, which was very important to him, and set the record for all-time games played by a Canadian-born player. It’s pretty clear, however, that he’s not been right, as he’s gone just 7-for-51 with just two extra base hits in the month of August. Overall it’s been a miserable year for Votto as well with his batting line — .205/.319/.370 (85 OPS+) standing as his worst since he broke into the majors. It would seem that age — Votto turns 39 next month — and, more significantly, injuries, have taken their toll.

Votto is under contract for $25 million in 2023, with either a $20 million club option or a $7 million buyout for 2024.

Joe Girardi to call Cubs games

Former Phillies manager Joe Girardi will call Cubs games for Marquee Sports Network soon. Marquee says Girardi will join Jon Sciambi and Jim Deshaies in the booth for this weekend's series against Milwaukee and will work next month's series at Miami.

Girardi did a fair amount of TV in between his Yankees and Phillies gigs and he wasn’t terrible at it. But I don’t think he was anywhere near good enough at it to justify a three-man booth situation, but hey, it’s not my money and I don’t watch many Cubs games, so have fun.

Two fans banned from Nats Park for five years after jawing at Willson Contreras

Cubs catcher Willson Contreras was seen animatedly engaging (i.e. beefing) with a couple of Nats fans after he hit a go-ahead sac fly. A few minutes later security was seen escorting the fans with whom Contreras was engaging from the ballpark.

Contreras was asked about the incident after Tuesday night’s game. He didn’t get into specifics, but he said that the guys he was getting into it with were Latino and were speaking Spanish. He added:

“If somebody tried to mess up my family, they’re going to (have to go through) me first. Whatever they said, it wasn’t healthy. It was not right . . . What he said got under my skin. We’re speaking the same language. I know what he means.”

Gonna guess this went beyond an off-the-shelf “your mama” joke.

Yesterday the Nats announced that the two fans, not publicly identified, have been banned from Nationals Park for five years. Given that the current state of the Nationals as a franchise means that those two fans represent a fairly sizable percentage of the people willing to actually pay to get into that ballpark, banning them represents a considerable sacrifice on the part of the team. Kudos to them, though, for putting principles and civility above commerce.

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Other Stuff

Don’t shed a tear for Liz Cheney

On Tuesday U.S. Rep. Liz Cheney resoundingly lost her primary race for Wyoming’s lone House seat, getting only 29 percent of the vote. Her opponent, Harriet Hageman, got 66 percent of the vote. This result occurred for one reason and one reason only: Cheney is one of the only vocal Trump critics in the Republican Party while Hageman is a Trump Kool-Aid-drinking and Trump-endorsed candidate.

There has been a lot of ink spilled over Cheney’s defeat — and in the run-up to it as it was preordained some time ago — and a great deal of it is in the form of a lament. About how bad things are when a solid, respectable figure like Cheney is defeated because she chose to take a stand against Trump and his fascist agenda. I get that impulse, and I get that the “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” mindset can be an appealing one, but nah, I’m not gonna shed a tear for Liz Cheney.

I will give Liz Cheney kudos for having a couple of principles that other Republicans lack, but standing willing to impeach and investigate an egregiously lawless president is the absolute lowest bar that exists in a democratic system. The fact that the rest of her party, save one or two others, have decided to become fascists themselves does not transform her into some savior of the Republic.

Meanwhile, take a look at any policy Liz Cheney has supported or opposed and her irresponsible and often vile rhetoric while in office. The Trump-backed candidate may take her seat and will not, like Cheney, ever vote against or move to do anything against Donald Trump, but I predict that she will vote in complete and total lockstep with how Liz Cheney has voted on virtually every issue that comes before Congress during her tenure. Sure, that one difference is enough for me to prefer Liz Cheney to this person who is replacing her, but let’s not pretend that Cheney is some great and noble figure whose defeat is tragic and consequential. The woman believes that waterboarding is totally cool.

In the wake of her defeat Cheney remains defiant, saying that she is considering running for president in 2024 and vowing that she will carry on her work to make sure Donald Trump doesn't return to the presidency. Again: I respect. Fight until there’s no fight left in you if you truly believe in something. But still: it’s a suckers game for anyone other than hardcore right-wingers to support her given what she stands for beyond not being Donald Trump. Her political beliefs and positions are risible.

The only argument anyone beyond hardcore right-wingers could make for her making an independent presidential run is a tactical one, believing that she’d peel votes away from Trump or whatever Trumpist person gets the GOP nomination in 2024. Even then, however, I have my doubts. Indeed, given Biden’s unpopularity and the hostility the electorate has for anyone to the left of him, it would not shock me if she siphoned more votes away from whoever gets the Democratic nomination in 2024 than she would Trump. Even Republicans who claim to hate Trump still voted for him in historic numbers in 2016 and 2020. Democratic coalitions are always way more shaky.

Maybe I’m wrong about that. I dunno. All I know for certain is that, in this house, we do not support people who support the things Liz Cheney has supported and, in all likelihood, always will. And that’s the case even if the American political system has managed to pinch off a whole bunch of people who think just like her regarding almost everything AND happen to be fascist criminals to boot.

Poor Donald

The Washington Post reports that Trump has been “rushing to assemble a team of respected defense lawyers” but that no one will work for him:

The struggle to find expert legal advice puts Trump in a bind as he faces potential criminal exposure from a records dispute with the National Archives that escalated into a federal investigation into possible violations of the Espionage Act and other statutes.

“Everyone is saying no,” said a prominent Republican lawyer, who like some others spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss confidential conversations.

Maybe this would be different if Trump didn’t have a long and rich history of (a) asking his lawyers to do illegal thing and/or putting them in impossible ethical positions; (b) not taking their advice and then throwing them under the bus when things go sideways; (c) pretty much always refusing to pay them; and (d) tainting them by association, thereby making it harder for them to get future clients. But he does all of those things, so, like, there’s your problem, chief.

You’ll not be shocked to hear that members of the Trump Cult think this is some sort of horrible injustice and that Trump’s Sixth Amendment right to counsel is being violated because people won’t voluntarily work for him. Of course, these are folks whose grasp on actual, as opposed to imaginary, Constitutional rights has always been far less than tenuous.

Is Captain America a virgin?

As the World’s Biggest Marvel Mark, I am obligated to watch “She-Hulk” which premiers on Disney+ today. This despite the fact that, per this story over at Variety, it sounds like something of a conceptual train wreck, having gone from some sort of “Black Widow” backdoor pilot kind of deal to a courtroom-heavy thing to what it has actually become — I guess an action/comedy/drama? — with arguments about how much fourth wall-breaking and Pop-Up Video-style thought bubbles (seriously) the show should contain. As a mark I’ll obviously give it a chance and probably grade it way more easily than any reasonable person should, but I’m not gonna lie: I have some concerns, dude.

The most notable thing from the Variety story, however, isn’t about “She-Hulk” itself. Rather, it’s this bit in response to a joke from the latest “She-Hulk” trailer in which the title character explains to Bruce Banner why she thinks Captain America is a virgin:

One thing that comes up in the premiere is Jennifer repeatedly grills Bruce about whether Steve Rogers is a virgin. How did you pitch that to Kevin Feige?

We just started putting it in scripts. There used to be a season-long runner where the thing that is constantly gnawing away at Jen is this question of whether or not Steve Rogers had ever had sex. You just regularly see her like googling it, talking about it. You got the sense that she was just constantly pestering people in her life, this question that was burning away at her soul. I can’t describe to you how thrilled and shocked I was that not only was Kevin on board with answering the question, that he supplied me with the canon answer.

So Kevin definitively answered this question?

Yes, that is straight from Kevin’s golden mouth.

My first thought: I could probably go my whole life without caring about that question or that answer.

My second thought: people overthink this, focusing too much on whether or not he held out during the war because of his love for Peggy Carter and never got around to sex after waking up in the future because the world was constantly on fire. What they forget about, I think, is that in between him getting the super soldier serum — in 1942 — and him meeting back up with Peggy Carter in Italy in 1943, Rogers spends months and months touring with that USO/War Bonds revue. During this time there are three unassailable facts: (a) Rogers is bored; (b) Rogers is a total hunk; and (c) Rogers is surrounded by a bunch of chorus line girls from the show, traveling from city to city. You don’t need me to do the math for you, do ya?

Even if you don’t grant me that, assuming Rogers didn’t spend a night with some random French woman after he got into the fighting part of the war — which he probably didn’t seeing as though he was pining for Peggy Carter — he probably got laid either (a) pre-“Winter Soldier” when he was getting accustomed to life in the 21st Century; or (b) post-“Civil War” but pre-“Infinity War” when he and the fellow Sokovia Accords scofflaws were out globe-trotting around the world. It gets lonely on the road, etc.

[Editor: Did it ever occur to you that Steve Rogers is a fictional character and that, especially in comic books, no one cares all that much about continuity beyond what it means for the current arc and, thus, Captain America could either have had or not had sex depending upon the demands of the current story?]

It’s still real to me, dammit.

Have a great day, everyone.